10 Rules
by Aaunty Pasta
Summary: Jack sends John the Ten rules of Stargate Missions. Chapter 2 is new and has spoilers for SG1SGA crossover coming up on Friday.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Ten Rules  
AUTHOR: Aunty Pasta  
SUMMARY: Jack sends John the Ten rules of Stargate Missions.  
RATING: K  
DISCLAIMERS: None  
FEEDBACK: Enjoyed, respected and encouraged.  
BETA READERS:  
DISTRIBUTION: Anywhere. Just ask first so I know where it is.  
AUTHOR'S NOTES:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sheppard downloaded his e-mail from the central Atlantis server and looked down the list. One from his high school inviting him to a twenty-year reunion. Sorry, I'm on assignment at the moment. He scrolled down. Something from General Landry Acknowledging his last report actually being in on time. Yes, Sir! You're Welcome SIR! He shook his head and scrolled down further. From: General Jack O'Neil. Subject: Ten rules.

This piqued his interest. Ten rules for what? He opened the e-mail.

"Hey Sheppard," it began.

"I am about to give you the advantage of my years of wisdom in the form of ten things that seem to happen on a regular basis when dealing with missions through the Stargate."

Sheppard shook his head and scrolled down to read the list O'Neil had sent him..

1) If life gets boring, wait a few minutes, it will liven up.2) Always expect the unexpected. When nothing happens, you'll enjoy the surprise more.  
3) On some mission or another, you or another member of your team WILL end  
up wearing some funky costume.  
4) Never eat cake while on a mission. Or anything else that is "Only for you".  
Especially if it a very hot member of the opposite sex offering it to you.  
5) Dead isn't always dead. Even if it is, well, dead.  
6) Don't let the technobabble confuse you. At least LOOK like you understand.  
Even if you don't.  
7) Don't bring any foreign technology back unless you are SURE of what it is  
supposed to do. And even then, still be wary.  
8) Don't fall for a member of your team. It will only complicate things.  
9) Always listen to your gut. It will direct you better that your brains will.  
10) If you forget everything else, remember this: Out there, WE are the aliens.

Sheppard shook his head a second with a snort and set about composing his own letter to return to the general.

Jack signed his name to the last of the stack of papers and sighed. 'Finally,' he thought. He turned to his e-mail and scrolled down the list.

He was WAY behind on reading his Atlantis e-mail and it was starting to pile up. He groaned as he scrolled down the list. Deleting everything from the whiny Kavanagh, he opened a couple from Dr. Weir, one was an apology for some whining she had done in a previous e-mail and the second was a report on findings from the city. He scrolled down more and sat up straighter when he saw one from Colonel Sheppard.

Re: Ten Rules

1) I've already figured this one out.  
2) When the unexpected becomes expected, does that mean the expected is  
unexpected?  
3) This has not happened yet although I will keep an eye out.  
4) No cake. Got it. What do I do in the case of a marriage proposal?  
5) I've learned this one the hard way. Would not do it again in a million years.  
6) McKay talks too fast for me to understand his technobabble.  
7) Have had lessons in this one as well.  
8) Gotcha. But McKay isn't my type and Teyla's seeing Ronan.  
9) I get the feeling you have learnt this one the hard way. Thanks for the warning.  
10) Don't I know it.

Jack smiled, certain in the knowledge that the Atlantis expedition was going to be fine under the protection of Colonel John Sheppard.


	2. Chapter 2

Ten Rules for survival in the Pegasus Galaxy

John sends Mitchell the Ten rules of the Pegasus Galaxy.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: By popular demand, I have written a part 2 for 10 rules. This is it! Some spoilers for the first episodes of the 10th season so beware. Thanks to all who have reviewed

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Colonel Cameron Mitchell sat down at his computer to clear out his e-mail box before he left for the Pegasus Galaxy. Junk, junk, junk. He deleted three notes in quick succession before coming upon one from ColJSSGCAtlantis. Huh, he thought. Wonder what he needs.

From: 10 rules for use in the Pegasus Galaxy

1) Watch out for the Wraith. They're mean, nasty and they'll suck the life out of you given half a chance.

2) If you see a tick the size of your head, go the other way.

3) The women in Pegasus are pretty nice looking, but make sure they're not ascended (or going to ascend) before you go kissing them.

4) Atlantis is a big city with surprises around every corner. Watch your step.

5) NEVER trust the Genii.

6) Storms on Atlantis's planet can get nasty. Lock the door, turn on the shield and HANG ON!

7) NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU TRUST THE WRAITH! Even if, ESPECIALLY IF, what they are offering is too good to pass up.

8) Don't trust a Wraith that was turned human then back to Wraith either. They get temperamental.

9) Listen to the geniuses. You never know when you will be needing the information they possess.

10) If you run into Lt. Ford, don't eat anything he offers. It may be laced with Wraith Enzyme and coming down off of it is NOT pleasant.

If you ignore these rules and find yourself in trouble, don't come crying to me.

John Sheppard 

Cam smiled as he typed his response:

From: ColCMSGC.cheyennemt.gov

Subject: Re: 10 rules for use in the Pegasus Galaxy

1) So I've heard. I wonder who would win in a fight between the Ori and the Wraith. Let's hope we never have to find out.

2) I've heard the bugs in Wraith town are big. Thanks for the warning.

3) I don't do the ascended thing.

4) So's New York and I like to visit there.

5) Just how many times have they lied to you anyway?

6) I've been through some pretty good hurricanes but your storm makes them look like a light rain.

7) Know what you mean there my friend.

8) Don't know what you mean. Hope I never do.

9) I've gotten into some BIG trouble from not listening to my geniuses.

10) If I run into Ford, I'll hog tie him and deliver him to y'all at Atlantis. Won't give the boy a chance to offer me any dinner.

See y'all in a couple of weeks.

Cam Mitchell 


End file.
